Bloodsucking Freaks

Bloodsucking Freaks (AKA The Incredible Torture Show)
1976
Directed By Joel M. Reed



SYNOPSIS

The sadistic Sardu (Seamus O'Brien) operates a 'theater of the macabre' in the SoHo section of New York. His shows feature nude women being tortured in front of an audience who believes these are an act. Sardu gets ambitious and decides to kidnap a famous ballerina, brainwash her, and add her to his show. Her football-playing boyfriend and a crooked cop find a lot more than they were bargaining for when they try and locate her.



MY THOUGHTS

When you decide to watch a film called 'Bloodsucking Freaks' you should immediately know what you are getting into, but this film surprised me with its sheer level of smuttiness.

The violence is extreme. You see limbs cut into and chopped off. Heads are chopped off or drilled into. Various people meet various Medieval torture devices. And a few people even get ripped to shreds.
The extreme violence keeps you watching, oddly intoxicated, not knowing how they are going to show next, somehow to top the depraved images you just saw.

The film contains some hilarious imagery among the horror. Sardu's dinner table is a nude woman crouched down on all fours and his dart board is a woman's bare butt. Then there's the group of feral nude women kept locked up in the basement... and I'm going to try and explain that one (because I can't.) And don't forget the brain-sucking scene!

These along with some witty, dark and sadistic one-liners keep the film from being too heavy-handed (or severed-handed.) The film is essentially the blackest of black comedies... and high camp as well.

The film's extremely low budget affected the casting. Despite the film near constant cacophonous screaming, none of them ever sound authentic. Sardu's sidekick, the evil midget named Ralphus, is so over the top you wind up laughing at him even when he's serious. When the famed ballerina takes the stage, it's quite obvious the actress has never ever danced in her life! Her boyfriend could have been played by a tree and no one would have noticed.
The makeup/ gore scenes never look like the real thing thanks to the budget... yet are still effective.
The low budget also affected the costuming (for the men anyway) and the sets and just about every other aspect of the film, but all of it ads to the sleazy filthy quality of the film's atmosphere.

This is probably the most misogynistic film I've ever seen. Every woman is treated like dirt. Only a few of them are even allowed to wear clothes (briefly.) In fact I've seen porn with women with more clothes on than this! (though the nudity is not there for titillation)
But then again I don't believe this film is intended to make any statements on the treatment of women. The film clearly only has one intent, that to shock.

So if horror films make you the least bit squeamish, avoid this like the plague. Otherwise, this could be an interesting and eye-opening trip into the macabre for those who could handle it. Bloodsucking Freaks remains a shocking piece of cinema, even with its shortcomings, in the 30+ years since it was unleashed on an unsuspecting public and is worth a view (though you'd probably not want to go back for seconds.)

Coraline

Coraline
2009 - Focus Features
Directed By Henry Selik



SYNOPSIS

Coraline moves to a new apartment in a new town with her parents. She discovers a small door that's a portal to an alternate universe, complete with 'other parents.' Soon she finds her self trapped there and her 'other mother' is revealed to be far sinister than Coraline ever believed.



MY THOUGHTS

A dark children's tale is vividly brought to life for kids of all ages.

The film's dark, scary and sometimes nightmarish subject matter may not be for everyone. It is based on a novel from Neil Gaiman, and it is dark like most of his body of work. Coraline is frequently threatened by dark forces in the alternate universe, after she realizes her 'ideal' sitaution really isn't ideal at all.
The film's 'be careful what you wish for' theme is evident and may teach a lesson to the youngest, at least those who can handle the frightening imagery and darker plot elements.

The film's stop-motion animation is amazing. Director Henry Selik (best known for 'The Nightmare Before Christmas') even eclipses that film's outstanding animation. Stop-motion is definitely a nice change of pace from all the CGI animated films that are all the rage today, and you can tell the difference on screen.

The voice work is also well done and helps the film's overall atmosphere of the plot.

The film is an excellent kids movie, but the more disturbing scenes may frighten the youngest ones in the audience.

Daffy Duck's Fantastic Island

Daffy Duck's Fantastic Island
1983 - Warner Brothers
Directed by Friz Freleng



SYNOPSIS

While stranded on a desert island Daffy Duck and Speedy Gonzalez find a treasure map that leads them to a wishing well that grants real wishes. They turn the island into a resort (a la Fantasy Island) and charge customers $500 to toss a penny down the well and make a wish... but Yosemite Sam comes looking for his map...



MY THOUGHTS

The legendary Warner Brothers animated characters come together but fall short to compare with their classic shorts of the past.

The greatness of the old shorts was in their simplicity of plot (ie - Wiley E. Coyote vs. Road Runner.) This film's plot is very convoluted. Daffy and Speedy first expect to be rescued, then find the map, then follow the map, then find out the treasure is a talking wishing well, then transform the island, then 'de plane' arrives, then each character gets their turn to drop in a coin. I even left some plot out. This is all a very complex, convoluted plan to showcase some classic clips from the good-ole-days of Looney Tunes.

The art of the newer elements is fine, but pales in comparison with the classic clips contained in the film. There are fewer laughs in the script and visuals of the new elements than in an old one-reeler.
However this is forgiven with an excellent choice of older material. Highlights include: Granny as a nurse, tending to the injured Tweety Bird, Sylvester the Cat, and the Bulldog who's always out to get him; and Yosemite Sam must be nice in order to collect a major inheritance, but he must put up with Bugs Bunny.

The film is directed by longtime Loony Tunes and Merrie Melodies mastermind Friz Freleng. He is probably only second to Chuck Jones in terms of his influence on the series... and directed many of the all time classics.
Mel Blanc returns to do 99.9% of the voices here and helps to add a little bit extra to help bring humor to a less than stellar script.

The film pales in comparison to the classic Looney Tunes/ Merrie Melodies shorts, but is still an enjoyable experience, providing you enjoy the wit and sophistication of the great Warner Brothers animated characters.

This film is not yet available on DVD.

The Life And Times Of Hank Greenberg

The Life And Times Of Hank Greenberg
1998
Directed By Aviva Kempner



SYNOPSIS

Baseball player Hank Greenberg overcomes antisemitism to become one of the greatest Detroit Tigers of all time.



MY THOUGHTS

An outstanding documentary documenting an outstanding baseball player.
Hank Greenberg was an obvious choice for induction into the Hall Of Fame in the 1950s and this film details why. Despite all the anti-Jewish sentiment of the time Greenberg sailed above it all and put together several amazingly successful seasons with the Tigers before willingly drafted for World War 2 service.... and even achieved more after the war.

This film was made at a time when several former teammates, opponents and fans were still alive and able to share their thoughts on his superb performances on the field... and the film greatly benefits from this first hand knowledge. His family and friends also shed some light on the man, while old interviews from the legend himself add even more color to this man's unique story.

If you call yourself a baseball fan and do not know his story, run to this film and absorb every detail!
(this DVD is out of print but can be streamed via netflix.com)

A Player To Be Named Later

A Player To Be Named Later
2005
Directed by Bart Stephens



SYNOPSIS

A documentary crew follows members of the Milwaukee Brewers AAA team, the Indianapolis Indians, as they struggle to beat their opponents and hopefully get that call that sends them up to the big leagues during the 2001 season.

MY THOUGHTS

As a lifelong baseball fan, I never put much thought into the minor leagues. It was always just this magical place where teams would get someone when a player hit the disabled list or when the rosters expanded near the end of the season.
This film really opened my eyes to the realities and hardships the players face.
A Brewers executive states early in the film that roughly 6% of minor leaguers will ever be called up to the bigs. This coupled with the grueling schedule, little pay, and also trying to start/raise a family add to the tension the players face everyday.
Many of them have little hope of making it. Some are already in their 30's and are still trying. Others are injury-plagued, while others are good, just not good enough. It's heartbreaking to see these people come as close as possible to achieving their dreams, yet most will fall short. Though a few do get the call.

You also meet several of the player's wives and children and experience what it's like to have a husband/father on the road and you can easily relate to their stories.

My only criticism with the film is that the film is very manipulative in how it tells its story. With a baseball game's length, it provides many opportunities to show the good and bad sides of a player. The film seems quick to decide that a batter is slumping (or surging) and shows a quick sequence of strikeouts, foul balls, fly outs. Same goes with the pitchers. These are clearly shot over several games and facing different teams. I'm sure the players also had great moments in those games but those are edited out in favor of an already crafted story.

But the film succeeds in making you feel like you're practically part of the team... and any fan of the game should seek this one out.

What's Up, Tiger Lily?

What's Up, Tiger Lily
1966 - American International
Directed By Woody Allen



SYNOPSIS

Woody Allen takes a swinging Japanese spy thriller, strips it of it's soundtrack. In its place, Allen and other actors dub new dialogue that involves several factions fighting over the ultimate egg salad recipe.



MY THOUGHTS

A bold experiment that doesn't quite deliver.

Woody Allen's first film did something that no other film had done, and few have done since. Stripping the dialogue off of an existing film was a great idea, but it could have used some more work on the new script.

The film's major flaw is its sense of humor. There are some big laughs from some one-liners in the dialogue but I'd say nearly 3/4 of the jokes fall flat. Not even snicker or smile generating. Some you don't know if they are jokes or just filler to match the actor's mouths.

Some of the film's titillation doesn't age all that well either because we're all desensitized to nudity, but the ladies are nice to look at.

Adding scenes featuring performances by the Lovin' Spoonful (not at their best) don't fit the Asian-centric film, but it's great to see a classic band in their prime.

The voice dubbing is well done, rarely do you get any voice/mouth mismatching that you'd see in some of the poor English dubs of Godzilla films.

The Japanese film (called International Secret Police: Key of Keys) looks like it might be interesting on it's own. It seemed to have a campy James Bond rip-off quality that made the 60's Italian spy film "Danger: Diabolik" so much fun.

But this film tends to be tedious in some places... and ultimately it pales in comparison to later superior works like "Mystery Science Theater 3000" and Woody Allen's films to come.

Last Of The Mississippi Jukes

Last of the Mississippi Jukes
2003
Directed By Robert Mugge



SYNOPSIS

The history and current state of the few remaining blues juke joints in Mississippi are discussed in this documentary.

MY THOUGHTS

I've long been a fan of the blues and as a history nut, I'm delighted that these two fields collided in this documentary. Though little that I didn't already know history-wise is revealed, I didn't care with the excellent live blues songs and a few stories that filled most of the run time of the film.
The stories from noted blues man Bobby Rush and actor Morgan Freeman helped flesh out the appeal of such places, which were noted for being very rough and tough places to enjoy a beer and live music in the past.

A few such juke joints are highlighted, most well-known being the Subway Lounge... which faced demolition because of its location in a decaying building.
Thefilm details the community's rally to save the club. It was located in the basement of a historic hotel that gave shelter to many African-American musicians who couldn't stay elsewhere due to segregation back in the 40's-60's.

It was however not to be, the building wound up getting demolished less that 2 years after this documentary was shot. It was great however to see the club still alive and thriving before its untimely demise. The club was reopened elsewhere.

Any fan of the blues will love this love letter to its sadly dying past.

The Fly

The Fly
1958 - 20th Century Fox
Directed By Kurt Neumann



SYNOPSIS

A scientist (David Hedison) testing his matter transference device experiments on himself. A fly enters the machine and their DNA are mixed, splitting them nearly halfway into two separate beings... now his wife (Patricia Owens) stands accused of his murder! His brother (Vincent Price) and the police try to find out what happened.



MY THOUGHTS

The Fly has all the ingredients of a perfect film to be spoofed by Mystery Science Theater 3000... except it is far better than any film that ever appeared on the show.
'Mad' scientists, murder, old science, an over-the-top heroine and more would propel this film to be ridiculed; yet it is surprisingly effective.

20th Century Fox threw a decent sized budget behind this. The Fly got the CinemaScope (wide screen) process and was shot in color, which was rare for a sci-fi/horror film of the era. Very, very few genre films like 'Forbidden Planet' and 'This Island Earth' even got the Technicolor treatment.
The makeup of the fly head and arm were much more realistic than any other sci-fi/horror film of the 50's. You practically feel the horror along with the scientist's wife upon seeing him for the first time post-experiment.

The acting was well done, except by Patricia Owens, the heroine. She delivers the typical sci-fi/horror cliche performance here. She's quick to scream at anything that's out of the ordinary. Her 'lunacy' is not effective at all, and is nearly silly.
The other performances are fine. David Heddison is even better after his transformation into the fly and you truly feel pity for the character as he struggles to keep his humanity in check.

The plot kept you guessing the whole way... from the phone call at the beginning announcing the murder to the final search for the white-haired fly. The use of flashback to tell the bulk of the story was well done. It was slow at first but picked up steam as the story moved along. The reveal of the fly head and the "Help Me! Help Meeeeee!" ending are disturbing today, let alone 50 years ago.

The film is not as good as it's 80's remake by David Cronenberg, but it does remain as a very effective film of its time and remains entertaining and unique... with some genuinely creepy moments.

Drunken Master

Drunken Master
1978 - Hong Kong
Directed By Woo-Ping Yuen



SYNOPSIS

The son (Jackie Chan) of a renown kung fu teacher neglects his studies and is sent to train with his uncle, who teaches him discipline and a rare form of fighting, drunken style.



MY THOUGHTS

One of the all time greatest Jackie Chan films.

Jackie Chan displays all of his talents in this early film of his. Amazing stunt work and a very slapsticky and quick-humored approach to the action are trademarks of his. Nearly every second of the fight scenes rely on these.
It's amazing how he can consistently take an everyday item (film after film) and use it like a master against an opponent like vegetables, benches, and even a fart. It's no wonder this was the film that made him a star. The film's use of humor must have been a big breath of fresh air in the genre at the time, which helped to propel Chan.

Director Woo-Ping Yuen is a master of the genre and famously did the fight choreography in Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon and the Matrix films. In Drunken Master, his fights scenes are a thrill to watch (as usual) and you're amazed at all the tiny maneuvers that the fighters have to execute perfectly to avoid serious injury. Woo-Ping is to kung fu films what Busby Berkeley was to the musicals of the 1930's. Simply unbeatable choreography.
The final battle is epic.

The film does have one major weakness script-wise. As Chan's character is training, he doesn't have much motivation to keep going. He doesn't know once he's done he'll have to fight for his father's life. He just stumbles into that situation when it happens. The lack of this driving force makes those training scenes see aimless.
But then again, plot is not a major driving force in a kung fu film. It's the pesky stuff that gets in the way of the fight scenes!

My only gripe with the film is the downright horrific voices chosen for the dubbing into English. Chan's character starts out with a very noticeable English accent, which fades as the film goes on.
The other voices add some unintentional humor as well.

Those problems aside, Drunken Master is a hilarious action-packed delight.
It's sequel, Legend of Drunken Master is also great fun to watch.

The Top 5 Cinematic Experiences That Nearly Killed Me

5. Batman & Robin (1997)

A personal hero of mine, his cohorts and his villains are horrifically brutalized from a dreadful script. They are the lucky ones. They don't have to watch themselves. Put a gun to my head.



Cause of Death: Suicide.

4. TIE: Pulp Fiction (1994)
Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Movie (1995)

You know you're watching something amazing and you sit there with a big dopey grin on your face, experiencing pure bliss. Seeing these two in the theater did just that.





Cause of Death: Glee

3. TIE: Dumb & Dumber (1994)
South Park: Bigger, Longer & Uncut (1999)

Some movies hurt because they're terrible. Some are just too funny, causing severe internal injuries. These films are the latter. I could have choked to death from the lack of oxygen from laughing too hard. Somehow I was able to stay in my theater seat.





Cause of Death: Choking to death from laughter

2. The Empire Strikes Back (1982 Re-release)

My dad took me to see this in '82 soon after I saw the first one on TV and fell in love. I was not even 5 years old, yet still remember the film-going experience vividly today. I didn't understand it all, but was in awe. If it's possible to die from awesome, this is it.



Cause of Death: Awesomeness

1. Under Siege 2: Dark Territory (1995)

Imagine yourself tied up like Han Solo in Return Of The Jedi rotating over an open flame. Meanwhile, you're slowly sliced into with a hacksaw in multiple locations by several people. This Steven Segal film is kinda like that, but with explosions.



Cause of Death: Brutal Torture

Cat Ballou

Cat Ballou
1965 - Columbia
Directed By Elliot Silverstein



SYNOPSIS
Cat Ballou (Jane Fonda) is a school teacher. When her father is killed by gunman working for the railroad eager to take his land, she forms a gang and decides to rob a train with their payroll on board. She hires a famous (and perpetually drunk) gunslinger (Lee Marvin) an Indian (Tom Nardini,) and a wanted man (Michael Callan) and his uncle (Dwayne Hickman.) Ballou is caught and sent to be hanged for the murder of the head railroader.



MY THOUGHTS

Cat Ballou is a silly and enjoyable western parody.

The plot is a simple revenge one and it works for the film. As a parody, it works to have a simple and common plot to help work its magic, and there's been many revenge plots to poke fun at over the years. The script contains many great one-liners:

Cat: They're trying to drive him off his ranch! They put manure in his well... they made him talk to lawyers!

or

[after a drunken Kid Sheleen shoots at a target on the barn]
Clay Boone: He did it! He missed the barn!

These help to lift the film beyond your everyday comedy.

The use of Stubby Kaye and Nat King Cole as a singing sort-of dual Greek chorus/ narrator role keeps the film from becoming too serious or believable. They add humor whenever they pop up. They have great singing harmony together too.

Jane Fonda is great in one of her first lead roles. She's beautiful and you can easily guess why all the guys are interested. She has the strength to command them even if she wasn't so hot.

Lee Marvin won an Oscar for his dual role as the drunken gunslinger and his opponent. Marvin plays a very silly drunk and is a delight to watch, though it's somewhat of a surprise that this was an Oscar worthy performance, though it's fun keep your eye on him when the action is elsewhere. There are many laughs to be had in watching his reactions. The Oscar may have come since he so successfully plays so far against his usual hard-ass type here.

Tom Nardini generates many laughs as the Indian. This film definitely has a more modern take on Native Americans, and there's much more PC dialogue on race relations, which is refreshing and creates more humor.

Cat Ballou maintains a level of silliness that would certainly appeal to anyone, even those leery of westerns.

Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?

Who's Afraid Of Virginia Woolf?
1966 - Warner Brothers
Directed By Mike Nichols



SYNOPSIS
A bitter, dysfunctional couple (Richard Burton and Elizabeth Taylor) invites a young couple(George Segal and Sandy Dennis) over for drinks. Secrets, self-destruction and madness are shared during several grotesque 'games' the couples play.



MY THOUGHTS

This film is perfect 'Exhibit A' against getting married! It plays on the fears of falling out of love with someone, personified by Elizabeth Taylor and Richard Burton's characters.

Elizabeth Taylor's character is like a female Stanley Kowalski from "A Streetcar Named Desire." She's brutish, abrasive, in your face, and excessively domineering. Taylor's performance is an equal to Brando's, and deservedly won an Oscar.
Burton and Segal give strong performances that were also nominated. Burton is on par with Taylor here.
Sandy Dennis won best supporting actress, for her performance as the not-so-bright young wife.

It's a wonder that Taylor and Burton chose this as a project to do since they were married at the time. Their interactions are brutal and violent, like a verbal boxing match, no, a gang fight! The couple loathes everything about the other, yet at times some love is evident, even though respect for the other has long since left. The two cling to illusions like their 'son' to keep them going together. Both are not very likeable, but the superb screenplay creates sympathy for them, as well as their guests.

The young couple seems to be more stable, but the older couple leads them to realize their relationship isn't as perfect as it appears... and is more like them then the young ones would ever want.

The film is based on a play by Edward Albee and uses minimal locations, like on the stage. Most of the film is set in just one room. This adds greatly to the confining 'pressure cooker' feel of the narrative.

The film is a fascinating study of these couples, and despite the film consisting of little more than 4 people talking for more than 2 hours, it's never dull. I heartily recommend this film to everyone, especially young newlyweds!

Together Brothers

Together Brothers
1974 20th Century Fox
Directed by William Graham



SYNOPSIS

Mr. Kool (Ed Bernard,) a beloved beat cop is gunned down in a run-down ghetto southern town. A small boy witnesses the shooting and group of street thugs led by H.J. (Ahmad Nurradin,) the boy's older brother, decides to track down the killer.



MY THOUGHTS

I've always had a soft spot for the blaxploitation films of the 70's. Over the years I've seen most of the best known ones like Shaft, Superfly, Dolemite, the Pam Grier ones, and a few lesser known ones. Together Brothers is certainly more on the obscure side, not even available on DVD, but it remains an exciting and somewhat unusual entry in the genre.

Most blaxploitation films use very urban settings (NYC and LA) but this film is different. It was shot in Galveston, Texas which gives it an almost rural feel. It's still the ghetto, but there's grass fields instead of concrete. The outfits aren't as garish and tacky in the poor south as they would be in big urban areas with money.

Story-wise the film offers little new. It's a variation on the often-used revenge story.
The most impressive sequence comes at the end when the killer stalks the little boy. The editing really amps up the suspense of the scene, and knowing how mentally unstable the killer is you don't know what will happen.

Like most other films in the genre, this one was a very low budget film and used grainy film stock, which adds a gritty feel. The use of natural lighting also helped achieve the grit. The actors were adequate and clearly didn't have much experience in front of the camera, but didn't detract from the film.

The genre often used some of the great musicians of the era to score the soundtracks. In Together Brothers, Barry White provides the killer soundtrack. You hear him and also his groups Love Unlimited and the Love Unlimited Orchestra. The songs are fast, free and funky. The theme song was clearly sampled for the 90's hit "C'mon and Ride The Train."

I certainly recommend this film to blaxploitation fans, but others may want to watch something else.

Shadowboxer

Shadowboxer
2005
Directed by Lee Daniels



SYNOPSIS
A hitman named Rose (Helen Mirren) and her stepson/lover/fellow hitman (Cuba Gooding Jr.) are hired by a nasty gangster (Stephen Dorff) to kill his pregnant wife (Vanessa Ferlito.) Rose, who has terminal cancer, decides against killing the woman after she goes into labor. The two rescue the wife and her newborn son and they settle into being a stable family.



MY THOUGHTS

Big messes can sometimes make for entertaining and unintentionally funny films, Shadowboxer just missed the mark, and is dull in every respect.

The script is weak. There's not one character who's the least bit interesting or believable, and the film is light on plot and substance, so it's forced to shock the viewer with sex, extreme violence and Cuba Gooding Jr.'s ass.

Hellen Mirren is great as usual, but one solid performance can not save the film. Even though her character is dying and she spares a mother and her baby, she's still not sympathetic. When she meets her end, you are left feeling absolutely nothing.
Cuba Gooding Jr. is utterly boring. His character is a professional killer with an abusive past, so it's logical that he's not emotive. He doesn't speak much and when he does, he says nothing of interest. You never develop any attachment.
Vanessa Ferlito is equally bland. You almost hope Gooding gets bored and bumps her off early in the film.
Stephen Dorff's character is absurdly evil and it's never explained why, and he plays it so over the top and is never believable.
Joseph Gordon-Levitt, who's great in everything in my opinion, doesn't have much to do here.
The less said about Macy Gray and Mo'Nique the better.

The film is beautifully shot, with great use of exterior locations and colors, but like Vanessa Ferlito's character, beauty with no substance equals blah.

I only recommend Shadowboxer if you want a dvd to use as a punching bag.

for punching purposes only:

Clerks II

Clerks II
2006- The Weinstein Company
Directed by Kevin Smith



SYNOPSIS
30-something slackers Dante (Brian O'Halloran) and Randal (Jeff Anderson) find themselves working at a fast food restaurant after their beloved convenience store burns down. Dante has a fiance (Jennifer Schwalbach) and is set to move to Florida with her and begin a new life. But, his feelings for his boss (Rosario Dawson,) jitters about his new future, and the loss of his best friend leave him questioning starting this new chapter in his life.



MY THOUGHTS

Many people are quick to disparage Kevin Smith and his films, but I'm not one of them. Horrible word of mouth kept me from seeing the film in theaters back in '06, but I'm glad I finally saw it.

Smith's greatest strength is in his writing. He has an amazing ear for dialogue (which is funny since his onscreen character is mostly silent.) The jokes come at a fast pace and are nearly all razor-sharp. With as many dick, fart, and gay jokes as Smith has peppered his screenplays over the years, they still remain fresh and original. Clerks 2 touched on some racial humor for the first time in the series (apart from Chris Rock in other installments.) The "porch monkey" scene is probably the second funniest in the whole film and adds an extra level of edginess, since fans have been largely desensitized to the dick, fart, and gay jokes.

Smith has been criticized for his directing style, which seems to always feature people standing against a wall talking. Much of the film fits that assessment, but in one scene outside the restaurant, he does a dolly shot around Dante and Randal that spins around them at an almost nauseating speed... then cuts to Jay and Silent Bob standing against a nearby wall. It seems he's giving a big "Fuck You!" to his critics.

I was surprised at the level of emotional depth to the film. As someone in his early 30's with a shit job, I really connected with Dante and Randal, more so than the first film. Much of the conversations in the jail about doing something really hit home and was reminiscent of conversations I've had and thoughts that run through my mind. That's probably why I felt more here than say in 'Chasing Amy' because I've never been in love with a lesbian.

Anderson and O'Halloran know their roles well, and each other, and it shows on the screen.
Jason Mewes and Kevin Smith also know their roles and add a ton of the humor. I liked how their characters remained on the periphery of the story and weren't essential to it, like an homage to their roles in the original film. Their characters have grown up more than Dante and Randal have, having sobered up and found Jesus, yet still sell weed.
I didn't buy Rosario Dawson working in a fast food restaurant though, but she was good.

The standout supporting performances were Trevor Fehrman as Elias and Zak Knutson as the Sexy Stud. Knutson's donkey show scenes are the most hilarious part of the whole film. Like Dawson's character says "I'm disgusted and repulsed and... and I can't look away."
As with other films in the series, we see familiar faces pop up for cameos like Ben Affleck, Jason Lee and others.

The film benefits from great dialogue and hilarious situations, as well as a great emotional depth and gives a fitting farewell (?) to the series... and an excellent companion piece to the original Clerks.

Gigantic

Gigantic
2008
Directed By Matt Aselton



SYNOPSIS

Mattress salesman Brian (Paul Dano) has always dreamed of adopting a baby from China. His ho-hum life is interrupted when he meets and falls for the daughter (Zooey Deschanel) of a customer (John Goodman.) He then heads to his dad's (Ed Asner) birthday party and they along with his two brothers go on a magic mushroom hunt while tripping. On his return, Brian realizes he loves his girlfriend and tries to integrate her in his family, while receiving some big adoption news.



MY THOUGHTS

I usually enjoy movies that can keep me guessing what's going to happen next. Gigantic is one of them, for better or worse.
Some films, like the works of David Lynch, do this from their utter bizarreness and dreamlike qualities. Gigantic is more grounded in reality. The quirky indie film mentality tries to keep it from feeling mundane and that succeeds, but a mundane approach might make the film work better.

Part of the uncertainty comes from several unnecessary scenes. While Brian and his dad and brothers are hunting for mushrooms, someone suddenly fires a shot. Soon after, Brian is shot in the leg. This is quickly seemingly explained away later and forgotten.
Brian is also repeatedly attacked by a homeless man. This is never explained as to why this happens, or if it's a metaphor for life in the big city or something else.
You are left wondering in the back of your mind if there even was a homeless guy or a gunman and Brian did it to himself (a la 'Fight Club.') The script is too abstract and vague to make much sense. Maybe the scenes are important. You never really know. The addition of one simple scene could have explained everything (not included in film.)

The acting is strong. You really like Paul Dano's character. He is a nice guy with a great dream who's constantly being beat down (sometimes quite literally) and you hope he succeeds. He's certainly more likeable than in 'There Will Be Blood,' his character is similar to his turn in 'Little Miss Sunshine.'
Zooey Deschanel isn't much different than she is in other films, but she plays that pretty but aloof character so well, you don't mind.
SPOILER You want the characters to end up together, but we never do find out.
Ed Asner is a delight in his small role as Brian's dad. (Who'd ever imagine Lou Grant shroomin'?)

I admire the film for its uniqueness, but it's overly quirky and leaves too many questions than answers when the credits roll.

Fifty Pills

Fifty Pills
2006
Directed by Theo Avgerinos



SYNOPSIS

Darren (Lou Taylor Pucci) is a college freshman. He loses his college scholarship after his roommate Coleman (John Hensley) throws a huge party while Darren is away. Now in order to pay his tuition, Darren must sell 50 pills of Ecstasy, brave some unusual customers, and confront angry drug dealers... all while trying to get the confidence to ask out the girl of his dreams (Kristen Bell.)



MY THOUGHTS

High school and college films are cranked out by the studios and from independent filmmakers like an assembly line, rarely producing a great product. The independent production Fifty Pills is no exception... and we get to see many 'exciting' indie film cliches.
Bland alt-rock soundtrack. Check
Character's names written on screen when they appear. Check.
Vague ending. Check.

The direction gives the film a very bland feel. This was Avgerinos' first feature and it shows. It feels like you're watching a student film, which is rarely a good thing. The lighting, shots and editing were equally bland as well.

The script is lackluster. For a comedy, the film is short on big laughs, though there are a very few good ones. Many jokes and situations you see coming because you've seen them before and done far better.
Darren begins the movie by talking directly to the camera several times. In the history of film and television, the only time this has ever worked effectively was on Malcolm In The Middle.
The conversation with the audience is then completely abandoned halfway through the film. Maybe he found us boring?
It's a college film, yet we never see the characters even crack open a book let alone go to class. The only time it's ever mentioned is when Darren says he has a paper to write.
The scenes with the Eduardo character and his two pals seemed completely unnecessary and the film would have been better without them and a chance to further develop the characters already present.
Also, Darren's character has the same awkward reaction every time he encounters a crazy while dealing, which gets old quick. There's only so much an actor can do to save a mediocre script.

The film's strongest element are its performances. Lou Taylor Pucci is very down to earth and is just as likable as he was in his breakthrough performance in 'Thumbsucker.' He has a bright future as an actor if he gets better material. His and Kristen Bell's characters seem to be the only sane ones. Her character never gets to shine much. It was a blandly written role that reminded me of Mary Jane in the Spiderman series.
It's a wonder the character of Darren turned out so normal with his parents. Played by Jane Lynch (most famous for being in the Christopher Guest mocumentaries) and John Kapelos, they make the most of their brief screen time and have great chemistry, though they aren't very important to the plot.
Eddie Kaye Thomas (of American Pie fame) is also funny as the Diff'rent Strokes - obsessed ecstasy customer.
The real highlight of the film is Monica Keena. She plays a dominatrix who runs her operation from her grandmother's basement. She's only in two scenes, but steals them.

Despite the strong performances, it's basically just a completely average movie.